Enjoy the little things in life!

‘Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you’ll look back and realise they were the big things.’

I saw one of my best friends for the first time in a couple of months the other day, and it was amazing. It was only for an hour during her lunch break, and we didn’t really do anything accept chat and eat a Maccy D’s, but seeing her smile just brightened up my day! It made me realise what really matters.

The problem these days is that people want the biggest and the best of everything: the latest smartphone, new clothes that are in fassion, etc. And they’re so caught up in all of that they miss the little things, the things that make life truly beautiful. When you take a moment to think what’s really important to you, it isn’t the latest phone, or the new shoes you really want, it’s the people and the places you love. If I could spend every waking moment with the people I love then I would, because when I’m with them I feel happy, safe and warm inside. It’s the best feeling in the world.

The same applies to places we go throughout our lives. Sure, going on holiday and staying in a really nice hotel is great! But if you were trapped on a dessert island alone, where would you want to go? Paris? New York? Or home? Of course the answer is home, for the same reasons that you’re surrounded by love and warmth and you feel safe.

When was the last time you told the people you love how much you love them? The last time you saw an old friend you miss? Why wait? Tell them you love them. Pick up the phone and organise a time to meet with that old friend. Appreciate the little things in life, and never take them for granted.

What is love?

I used to think that love was about self gain. That it was all about how I felt, what I needed, and what I wanted. I used to think that to be in love was to be with someone, regardless of how they felt.

I was wrong.

Love isn’t selfish. Loving someone is when you put someone else’s happiness above your own. It’s when the thing that makes you happiest in the world is seeing that person happy and smiling. When you love someone you should love all of them: their attributes and flaws alike. But sometimes life has other plans and loving someone means letting them go. If the person you love doesn’t feel the same way about you, and isn’t happy in the relationship, is it right to ask them to stay with you? If you know they’d be happier out of the relationship, then the kind and loving thing to do is to let them go without a fight, and wish them all the happiness in the future. It’s hard and it hurts, letting the person you’d imagined a happy future with walk out of your life. Everything you’d planned and hoped for gets turned upside down, and your dreams turn into just that: dreams. But sometimes it’s the right thing to do for that person, and if you love them you won’t stand in their way of moving on and finding true happiness.

I’m useless when it comes to relationships, I always seem to say the wrong thing. But I love with all my heart, and I think that’s the important thing.

A week without Social Media.. Kinda

Last week I decided to not go on any Social Media platforms for at least a month. So far I have succeeded.. Kinda.

The first 4 days went well; I didn’t go on any social media whatsoever! And I actually started to really enjoy myself being around people and having proper conversations. I could put the rest of the world out of my mind and just enjoy the here and now – it was heavenly.

However, I had a slip up on day 5 by having a short conversation on Facebook. It was only 10 minutes, but still I felt disappointed in myself that I couldn’t restrain. During that 10 minutes I went from being surrounded by a group of people that wanted to talk to me, to being left alone because everyone could see I was preoccupied: Social media makes me antisocial! Day 7 saw the re-downloading of the twitter application to my iPad – Whoops!

The whole idea of social media was to help people be more sociable and stay connected with friends and family, but I find it does the opposite. Instead of making me more sociable, I’ve stopped interacting with people which in turn makes me less confident and less sociable. I see this with other people as well: my brother barely even talks to the family because he’s so engrossed in what’s going on online.

So in conclusion, I’ve survived. Have I been successful? Kinda. Have I seen a positive impact on my life? Most definitely! And, will I be continuing? HELL YES!

NO MORE SOCIAL MEDIA!

It’s 2am and I can’t sleep because I haven’t checked my Facebook messages all day; I’ve come to the realisation that Social Media has taken over my entire life. The person I am on Social Media isn’t the person I am in real life and I feel like I’m doing myself an injustice only letting people get to know me online. In person I’m nice to be around and people seem to like me, but over the internet for some reason I turn into a crazy, annoying, arse. I understand that I will be squeezing my friendship group down to the tiny minority who will bother to pick up the phone or arrange to meet me in person, but in a way I think this will be a good thing as I will discover my true friends.

I’ve deleted the ridiculous amount of Social Media apps I had on my iPad and phone (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, Snapchat & Skype) and have made myself a promise that I will not redownload them for at least a month. If I feel that I am unhappier without Social Media, I will redownload them after this time. However, if – as I suspect – I see a positive change in my life from being rid of Social Media then it will be gone for good!

I’m doing this because I want to do the things that I enjoy doing, like walking, reading, and spending time with my friends in person. I just don’t do those things very often any more because I’m too busy spending my life staring at a screen. I read an article this morning which said that Social Media created stress and anxiety in 50% of people, and I am currently in that percentage of people.

So as of today I am signing of from my internet life and am going to start living again! I’ll post an update every Sunday to let you know how I’m getting on and how not being constantly connected has changed my life: hopefully in a positive way.

Teenage pressures

People say that your teenage years are the happiest days of your life. So why then am I feeling constantly stressed out and worried?

I feel like I have a duty to live up to the expectation of my parents and extended family. I’m the eldest son, grandchild and nephew, and there’s an expectation from my whole family that I should be setting the standard high in order to set a good example for my siblings and cousins. Everything I do is analysed by them all and I can’t help but want to break free! I’m trapped in a cage of hopes that I’ll one day go to university, earn a six figure salary and have AT LEAST 3 children. They have my life planned out for me in my head and I feel pressured to conform.

The expectation from my family, as well as my own hopes and aspirations makes education a living nightmare! I got 3 A’s, 3 B’s and 3 C’s in my mock exams, results that are above average and more than good enough to get me into college. But they weren’t good enough for my family. In fact they were ‘disappointing’. So from December through to June I worked by butt of at school to try and improve my results. I managed to get my coursework in every subject except one to an A*, and revised long and hard for my exams. IT HAS BEEN HELL! I’m just hoping and praying that when I get my results tomorrow they will be what my family wants… Oh, and what I want too if that still matters. If not, my parents are in a different country and I’ll just end the Skype call!

At least I can be around people my own age who are going through the same ordeal and not feel like I have to conform to fit in. Except that isn’t quite the reality. You have to comply to ‘social norms’ and ‘rules’ to fit in. Stupid things like not wearing the same clothes 2 days in a row at college. Does it make me dirty for wearing the same clothes for 2 days in a row, because if that’s the case I must be an absolute animal right now as this is the third day I’ve worn this teeshirt – shock horror.

I love my family and friends, but there’s a part of me that can’t wait until I’m out of full time education so I can run a million miles from the pressure they bring. I know that education is important and will have a huge impact on the rest of a persons life, and teenagers should be encouraged to do well, but not to the extent of them being unhappy and stressed. And as for peer pressure, I will not be complying to the ridiculous ‘rules’ and would encourage others not to either because by doing so the problem is being made worse.

How to be the perfect parent (in the eyes of a teenager)

It goes without saying that every parent wants to be the best that they can for their children. But how do you get the right balance between being a good parent and being someone your child likes? Below I’m going to give you a 3 step guide on how it’s done.

First, take an interest in our lives, but don’t try to control them. By this I mean that it’s nice to be asked about whats going on with our friends because it’s great knowing you’re taking a real interest in our lives, but don’t when we tell you things that are going on in our lives try and control them. For example if we’re friends with people you don’t necessarily approve of us being friends with, don’t tell us that you don’t approve because firstly, it isn’t going to stop us being friends with that person, and secondly, it means we’re less likely to discuss our friends with you in the future.

Next, STOP NAGGING! If my mother asks to me to do something in a nice way, I’m more than happy to do it for her. But if she nags at me then that will instantly annoy me and make me less willing to do what she’s asked. If you’ve asked once nicely and it still hasn’t been done, be patient, ask again nicely if you have to. If after the second time it still hasn’t been done then by all means NAG NAG NAG!

Finally, trust us, but don’t let us do whatever we want. Some parents are so strict and untrustworthy of their children that they suffocate them. They are trying to protect them but all they’re really doing is pushing them away. A similar thing happens on the other side of the scale too: if you let us do whatever we want, whenever we want, it sends the message that you really don’t care. The right balance needs to be found. If we’re going over a friends house, make sure you know when we’re getting home, and check to make sure we’re going where we say we’re going. Some teenagers may see this as you not fully trusting them, but in my opinion it’s nice to know that my parents care about where I am at any given time.

Undoubtably some of you are going to be outraged by this post, but please don’t be. I’m not trying to tell you how to parent, and of course I have no idea of what it’s like to be a parent. I’m just telling you what I feel creates a better relationship between you and your teenager. Please leave your opinion below, or any questions if you’re having trouble with a teenager and want some friendly advice.

Professional procrastinator

My biggest downfall in life by far is my regular tendency to procrastinate. It’s becoming a real problem as I get nothing that I need to get done, done. I do however complete a number of tasks that I have invented whilst trying my best not to do things that actually need doing.

I was set work to complete for when I start college in September, not a huge amount, I could have it done in a matter of hours, but I find excuses not to: ‘I’m on holiday, I should be enjoying it and not doing work right?’ ‘Summer is for socialising not sitting alone doing work.’ I make sure I’m busy and have no spare time because then I can justify that I really haven’t had any time, even by doing mundane jobs such as unloading the dishwasher (which quite frankly is probably even more boring than the work I need to do).

The one thing I’ve procrastinated on for years is doing exercise. I know the benefits of it and I’m told by many of my – clearly crazy – friends that it’s enjoyable when you get started. I just really can’t be arsed. I’m not overweight, sure my body’s not ‘perfect’ but I honestly have no desire for that perfect body. I’m happy with the way I look and if people have a problem with how I look then that’s their problem, and quite frankly I don’t really care what they think. Nevertheless, simply for the health benefits I feel like I should do at least a small amount of exercise a couple of times a week, but it always seems to be either too hot or too cold outside… Weird.

Television is my favourite way to procrastinate. Once you start to watch a TV programme it’s only right to finish it, and once you’ve started watching a certain programme you want to know what happens in the next episode, and then the next series. When I’m at home, me and the remote are as one. It’s my companion and is never far from my grasp. It’s gotten to the point where I know exactly what I’m going to be watching at any given time on any given day. It’s no wonder people procrastinate when SKY teases us with hundreds of different channels to pick through! And don’t even get me started on Social Media…

Embarrassing family members

Every teenager faces the problem of occasionally having to be seen out in public with embarrassing family members and I am no exception. Yesterday I found myself stood in a supermarket next to my Grandads trolley full with 38 bottles of Prosecco. The customers must have thought he was a shop assistant restocking the shelves and only god knows what the actual shop assistants must have been thinking! 96€ he spent on the alcohol, quite a bargain for that amount I have to admit! But nevertheless, it didn’t stop me feeling slightly ashamed and embarrassed walking up to the checkout as my 12 year old brother struggled to push the trolley load. My other brother was no where to be seen as he had made a quick dash for it before we had even began loading the trolley up. He avoided us like the plague!

Another example that comes to mind is the time my parents played the game ‘bogeys’ (which for those who don’t know is where two people take turns seeing who’ll dare shout the word bogeys the loudest) in Marks & Spencers of all places, and the supermarket was packed at the time! I held my head in shame, trying not to make my association with them clear to the public. Unfortunately that wasn’t an option as the whole idea of them playing it was to try and embarrass me – and let me tell you, they succeeded!

It’s not just family members though, we all have that friend who is just a touch too happy if you know what I mean. When you’re alone they’re a totally normal and sane person, but as soon as you put them amongst other people they go crazy! I have a friend like this who I won’t name *cough* Sarah *cough* who is so loud that you literally need earplugs if you’re going to be within a 5 mile radius of her.

However, there are times when embarrassing friends are the best sort! Just 2 weeks ago today, I met 2 girls on the ferry from Dover to Calais whose names I didn’t even find out, and we spent the journey re-enacting Titanic together on film. ‘Well that doesn’t sound too bad’ I hear you thinking, well let me tell you, we were shouting for the Women and Children to get to safety (getting some rather peculiar looks), filming people who where asleep saying they were dead, laying on the table in the middle of the busy restaurant pretending it was the piece of wood Rose survived on in the film, and even dragged each other by the feet down the long corridor to make it look like we were sinking. But I can honestly say that they were the most enjoyable couple of hours in my life and I will never forget them!

Monopoly: The game we all loved then hated!

I’m sure everyone can relate to me on this one: The game of monopoly is something that we absolutely love as a child, and grow to hate as we get older! As a child, monopoly was my favourite game and I used to beg my parents and anyone else that I had over to play it with me, but now it’s a whole different story. I only play after my younger siblings have spent hours begging me to, and that’s exactly what happened today…

The game started with happy faces (and as you can see from the picture my happy face was due to the wine I needed in order to put myself through the ordeal). Before we had even rolled the dice arguments had began about whether we should go around the board once or just go straight into buying properties. “GET THE RULES OUT!” I protested whilst taking a rather large gulp of wine.

The game was actually quite pleasant for the first half hour or so, and then came the heated arguments! I sat back, relaxed, knowing I had the game in the bag and let my siblings argue it out – something that was actually quite amusing to watch.

An hour – and 3 glasses of wine – into the game and there was just me and my younger brother left. It was clear to everyone that I had won but he insisted on playing on. I was bored to death, but couldn’t have him thinking that he could beat me so I played on for what seemed like hours, days even! Eventually he ran out of money and I won – queue the ‘IN YOUR FACE’ grin!

It’s quite sad really, how a game that I enjoyed so much as a child has turned into such a chore. I’m far more interested in what’s going on online than interacting with my family and playing a board game: I guess that pretty much sums up my generation.

Shoes Vs. Sweetheart

The evil shoes that begged me to buy them!

Before I came on holiday I’d put a certain amount of money aside to buy a gift or two for my sweetheart. My intentions were good, I promise! It was going well up until yesterday when I was dragged (not too unwillingly admittedly) into a shoe shop. I stood by the door, knowing that if I saw a pair of shoes I liked I wouldn’t be able to help myself. Of course, the inconsiderate members of staff rudely placed a pair that took my liking right by the door! What made it even worse was that they were in my size; it was as if they had been placed there just for me and I was supposed to buy them. 

I tried them on, ‘What harm can it do?’ I remember thinking. ‘I’ll just try them on and then put them back.’ But I couldn’t put them back. They were a perfect fit, suited what I was wearing at the time perfectly and boy were they comfortable! I began trying to justify the purchase in my head: ‘I don’t have many smart shoes.’ ‘They’ll be perfect for college.’ ‘The amount I’d set aside for a gift was way too much and digging into it a bit wouldn’t hurt.’ In all honesty, I knew from the moment I saw them that I was going to buy them, I just had to spend a while pretending to deliberate to make myself feel better.

I find myself in a similar situation at other times in my tragic life. For example when it comes to new clothes Vs. technology, technology always seems to win, despite the fact I really don’t need any more in my life and am constantly complaining about the lack of new and nice clothes that I have. I just can’t help myself, I’m normally a completely rational person, but when you put £50 in my hand and tell me I can spend it on whatever I like, you can bet your life that I will spend it on the wrong thing and then beat myself up over it in the near future.

So that bears the question: ‘Should teenagers be trusted with money?’. The answer is of course HELL NO! But if anyone took my money and tried to tell me what to spend it on World War 3 would break out!